Quantcast
Channel: SpeedontheBeat.com
Viewing all 1751 articles
Browse latest View live

WIRTB Review: RGIII's Time as Washington's QB

$
0
0
Get your HTTR pitchforks ready because we're talking sportsball today on WIRTB Review.


I'm Speed on the Beat, as always, and I'm here to review the crap so you don't have to. This is, truth be told, probably the first time WIRTB Review has dabbled in sports (versus, of course, sports entertainment). But, new year, new moves and all those other "new year" cliches people spout off because reasons. Today, we're talking (probably former) Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III, more colloquially known as RGIII, to figure out the question: was his time at QB really that bad?


To understand why RGIII was once heralded as a savior of the Burgundy and Gold--and why he now appears to be Fallen Angel #1, 2016 Edition--you need to look no further than his draft day. Drafted second overall in the 2012 NFL Draft, Griffin almost instantaneously became Sam Bowie to Andrew Luck's Jordan (in reverse, since RGIII was drafted after Luck, of course). The Redskins hadn't had a set QB for more than maybe a year at a time, RGIII was a quarterback, and he was one of the best QBs of the draft--just as Sam Bowie was one of the best college players going into the 1984 NBA Draft. However, he wasn't Andrew Luck. Their rookie seasons both met expectations.

But, Luck exceeded expectations, especially in post-Manning Indianapolis, with better stats (albeit with a lower QBR) and a better record. And that's where the hinges started to fall off RGIII's luster, it'd appear.

In 2013, that's when we got Poppa RG as a mouthpiece, a three-win season, and injuries out the arse. Plus, ya know, a good old-fashioned coach/player "feud" with Mike Shanahan. Meanwhile, just like Jordan, Andrew Luck excelled. However, unlike Sam Bowie, RGIII seemed to have a problem with not keeping his mouth shut (or, in some instances, keeping it shut for too long). Add in the fact that RGIII's abilities were muted by a combination of new coaching, injuries, Griffin's inability to read defenses--or sometimes, even his own players on a Colin Kaepernick tip, and the fact that Kurt Cousins was a better player, and here we are.

The 'Skins are 9-7 this year, Cousins started every game and threw for over 4,000 yards, and RGIII is probably going to be in another uniform next year. But, was RGIII's time as the signal caller for the Redskins really that bad?

Somewhat.

When you go from being a playoff team to being a laughingstock in a couple months and your "star" quarterback is doing more running off at the mouth than he is on the field, you've got a problem. But, I don't full-out think that RGIII is that bad as a player. Do I think that RGIII will recover? Eh...perhaps.

It sure as hell cannot be in Washington. As with players such as the aforementioned Kaepernick, RGIII excels when he's not being fed BS from every direction and is in a system that extensively covers up his flaws (he's still more of a runner than a QB at times, he's better suited as an option-QB versus a pocket passer, his ability to read defenses is still shoddy, etc.). If he can find something along those lines, he's gol--err, silver-ish. If he can't, a position change may be the next step.

I mean, as wonky as his reads can be, Griffin isn't stupid by any means. Nor is he really a completely unwarranted mouthy dude. His feud with Shanahan stemmed, to a degree, from the latter's decision to leave RGIII in during the 2012 Wild Card Game. Other times, yeah, he sometimes says crap he doesn't need to (or doesn't say anything when he needs to). But, the bigguns? Nah. He was on point to a degree...

...either that or he just goes the Tebow route and becomes an analyst.

But, as always, this is just my opinion. Feel free to retort below or via Twitter. Just don't be surprised if I want to engage in legitimate conversation.

@JayVerze - "Feelin' Important" (Visuals)

$
0
0


Baltimore-area artist Jay Verze hits 2016 running with visuals for "Feelin' Important," one of the standout tracks from his recently-released The Vintage EP: 1995project. If you rocked with Jay's project--or even if you haven't heard it yet--this is something you should check out. The production, both the beat and the visuals, are pretty top notch but still maintain some of that DIY feel that makes artists from the Baltimore area stand out. So, yeah, peep it and hit up Jay on the social media and let him know if you're rocking with it.

@Jay_Wyse - "Focused" (Visuals)

$
0
0

I've always been a fan of Jay's approach to his visuals. This one is no exception. "Focused," the first single from the forthcoming Nine Twenty Five album, was produced by Dreamlife Beats and directed and edited by Anthony Kelly (@MoeMarllyTv). "Still unsigned, but we the label" and "we make our own decisions" are mantras dictating a lot of artists out there these days. As a former artist myself, I applaud that--doubly so because of my connections with Team DAR. Wyse hasn't come with a wack track or video yet in my opinion, so keep your eyes on him and, as he always remarks, "choose wysely."

@TeamDAR - "Sky High" (Visuals)

$
0
0

Oh, what, people thought I wasn't gonna post some #DARBusiness on the site this year? Must be out y'all rabbit-assed minds...

Anyway, the DAR crew put out visuals for "Sky High" from the upcoming Leviticus album. "Sky High," while it actually released a couple weeks back, is the first single from Leviticus and features some pretty chilled-out, but turned-up vocals and production. Plus, you get to see True, Ax, and Apollo in a video that wasn't recorded in a DAR Basement--or featuring me awfully lip-syncing the lyrics to "Truthful Revelations..." and the like; that's a double win (and not an insult on DAR No-Fi Videos; it's just a new era for the team).

Leviticus drops in about two weeks.

@only1dram - "Don't (Let D.R.A.M. Find the Instrumental)"

$
0
0


Now we know that D.R.A.M. is a dude that isn't afraid to take a risk. I mean, he started as a full-out rapper, then reinvented himself as a singer. Plus, his first track to blow up a lot was "Cha Cha," which was, in some ways, infused into Drake's "Hotline Bling" (c'mon guys. It's been months; it's okay to admit that while "Hotline" wasn't a full-out rip of "Cha Cha," there was similar energy, phrasing, et cetera). But, in an even bolder move, the Virginia native hopped on Bryson Tiller's "Don't" instrumental and effectively--for me, at least--stole the song from Tiller.

Let me rephrase that before D.R.A.M. thinks I'm coming for him. He took the instrumental and crafted a song that made me forget that "Don't" was originally a Bryson Tiller song. Check it out above.

New Music @MRGWingteam - "Pastel" (feat. @SchamaNoel)

$
0
0


A SpeedontheBeat.com rookie teams up with a vet to paint a bit of a dream team flow. East Elmhurst, Queens native MRG, high school baseball star turned rapper, hit me with this one in my inbox yesterday. I'd honestly never heard much from MRG before last night. But, I'm kind of mad that I didn't, as he's got a nice flow and a great storytelling ability. Aided by Schama Noel (a/k/a Mr. Rap Like) and produced by DJ Mostwanted, "Pastel" lets listeners peer into both artists' mindsets and hear a bit of their story in a way that doesn't put everything out--but what comes out warrants at least a second look. So, I actually did take a second look at MRG.

I'm sold. He's got skills. Check him out.

New(ish) Music: @Jay_IDK - "Hello (Freestyle)"

$
0
0


And no, it's not another Adele remix.

The "-ish" is there because Jay actually dropped this about a day-ish ago, but, SpeedontheBeat.com mainstay Jay IDK comes back swinging after Subtrap. Aided along by a boombap instrumental, Jay spits bars about his rise, his team, and those who've doubted him. Always the artist who believes in his (acknowledged) skill, Jay delivers lines that even suggest he'd send a track back to Michael Jackson if he wasn't rocking with MJ's verse.

Cold, Jay. Just cold. But...it's that coldness--along with the lyrics to back it up--that makes and has made Jay an artist to watch over the past couple years. And if this is any indication, HXLY is here to stay.

Visuals: @YahYah_Capone - "Trappin' Out Da Bando"

$
0
0

Can't say much else about this one except it's blunt and lyrically and sonically hits you in the face like a brick, no Stitches. It's a solid mid-2010s trap track. The visuals are cool and it's just something comforting about seeing a rapper nonchalantly rap about trapping while some random makes her butt talk in the background. I don't know what it is, but it's...familiar. Sometimes, you need that over a man yelling into the friggin' camera while it's shaking all sorts of ways.

The Underrated: The Crank Series

$
0
0
I'm going to get kind of fanboy-ish, but it's with good reason.

In 2006, I was introduced to Crank. For those who don't know, the film series revolves around, essentially, Jason Statham as a hitman (because JASON FRIGGIN' STATHAM) named Chev Chelios doing the following and more:

  • popping pills
  • getting head while driving and having sex in public
  • getting shocked by defibrillators to the point he starts flying
  • beating the beejeezus out of people and 
  • getting adrenaline rushes unknown to most mortal men 
This is all to make sure his heart doesn't stop (so he can go and murderize the folks who tried to kill him in the first place). He's Iron Man. Except he doesn't have the billionaire snarkiness and instead of nuclear fission keeping his heart pumping, it's sheer unadulterated electricity and adrenaline.

See what I mean?

It's probably the most over-the-top action movie I've ever seen that wasn't an anime. It's kind of like Run Lola Run had a baby by The Transporter who's raised by Simon the DiggerChelios is pretty much an indestructible badass who seems ripped out of your favorite video game (this is especially since the film itself plays like a video game, a la RLR). Said indestructible badass goes around doing the insanity mentioned above and, while he has to be an adrenaline junkie to survive, he seems to have some fun with it. This is all while, ya know, he's randomly pulling infinite feats out of thin air (sometimes quite literally).

Sounds like a meth-induced clusterfuck, right?


But, guess what? It works and works well. It's equal parts MAYUNNNNNN!!!! parody and actual bad-ass action, taking what we know and love about movie badasses, turning it on its head while playing it for outlandish laughs, but still giving the audience a believable story (within the confines of the films' universe). It takes the Gunbuster/Diebuster/Grand Theft Auto approach (it was done pre-TTGL) of making the impossible possible through sheer willpower--and lots of guns and explosions.

I mean, in the first film's climax, Chelios, heart damaged and ramped up on every sort of adrenaline boost known to humanity, kills folks, has an air fight with the man who ordered him to be poisoned, kills said man while gun-fu'ing in midair, calls his girlfriend while falling through the Los Angeles skyline, leaves his girlfriend a message, finally collides with the concrete...and still ends living through it.


Yeah. So, if you're looking for an over-the-top action film that pulls no punches, you can't go wrong with the Crank series. Underneath the MAYUNNNNNN!!!! element, at its heart (pun intended), it has some pretty smart ideas that reconstruct the action movie badass trope while still deconstructing it. If you need any more reason to watch it, it features Jason Statham punching shit and driving cars (since, ya know, THE TRANSPORTER and such).

PA Vol. 28: Talking About Marley's Legend

$
0
0
NSFW Warning/Disclaimer: 
PA (short for "Profound Assholes") is a series on SpeedontheBeat.com where I have a no-punches-pulled conversation with a friend about a hot-button issue (yay cliches!). That friend is usually none other than Drizzle Sez formerly of DrizzleSez.wordpress.com, who co-created the PA format (go check out his site. It's still live and still kicks much ass to this day). Today, we discuss Bob Marley and the Wailers and the Legend CD. 



Speed: So, have you gotten enough folks to begin your second Indie Showcase?

Drizzle: Nah, not yet. 

Speed: I mean, I'm not rushing or anything. I'm just wondering if my calls to action for artists to not be, to paraphrase Ronda Rousey, do-nothing bitches were actually working?

(Drizzle and Speed laugh)

Speed: Damn. I guess folks really are scared or something. As an aside, you see Ronda's bodypaint picture?

Drizzle: Nope. Not going that route.

Speed: Fine. I'm probably gonna post it anyway right...about...here.

A photo posted by @mj_day on

There's something for your fap bank, readers. But, this must be what it feels like to be, at least and probably less blasphemous than actually saying God, someone like the AVGN or the Nostalgia Critic. Like, having people shake in fear over what you're about to shit on, even though you're doing it as a legit, albeit funny, critique. And even if it isn't full-out shit, you still have people fearing it because you've been known for tearing the world a new asshole every once in a while. There is one difference, though. Aside from when we talk about, say, racists--

Drizzle: That reminds me. Was the "lost" PA the one we did about Trump and his Muslim policies?

Speed: Yeah...

Drizzle: Dammit! That was a good one. One of these days, and soon, we'll have to recreate that one.

Speed: True. But as I was saying. Aside from when we talk about racists or irrelevant folks trying to stay relevant, we usually don't get dumbfounded over "shitloads of fuck." But, like, fucking hell, man! What do I've gotta do? It's not like we're just up here spouting BS. I feel some of these artists, especially indie folks, they want nothing but yes men around them and talking about them. It's kind of one of those things that makes folks do irrelevant shit in an attempt to stay relevant. Sorry, not sorry.

Drizzle: Fair. BUT! I've been jamming to the Legend album today.

Speed: What "Legend" album?

Drizzle: Bob's, of course.

Speed: It's a GOAT album, through and through.


Drizzle: Indeedness.

Speed: Marley is a genius that, somehow, to me, still feels slightly underrated.

Drizzle: ...how is he underrated, Speed? There's literally, not figuratively, a group of people who worship him as a physical god.

Speed: That's true. But, it's kind of how, like, some folks only know Akira for "KANEDA!!!" and the bike scene. They're both revered and celebrated. But, some, they only know and understand the highlights. Everyone should be worshiping Marley's greatness. That's even if they're not saying he's God-like or a god. I don't know, I feel that folks have started to associate Marley more with "One Love" and ganja than everything else he represents and encompasses. Ya know, commercialism taking his image and appropriating it--

Drizzle: Alright. But, "One Love" was gospel reggae, too (Drizzle laughs).

Speed: Yeah. I don't know. Feels like he still doesn't get the full-out adulation he probably deserves. And, you know me. I'm not like that about many artists, even if they have large, legendary, even cult-like followings.

Drizzle: I mean, Bob was just too for real in his music.

Speed: This is true.

Drizzle: And he sung, literally, about whatever he wanted.


Speed: Yeah. He had no problems just putting everything out there. From activism to chilling, from love to religion, to sensuality...shit, man. He's a GOAT artist, bottom line. They don't really make them like him much any more.

Drizzle: And the entire album and discography is all tasty-ass jams.

Speed: Fuck yeah, man. He's amazing. And, I don't think he can be replicated. Like, at all. No offense to his amazing children. But, even they haven't been able to fully match their father's amazingness.

Drizzle: Well, just about anyone who tries to recreate Marley and his energy? They and the music aren't free. I mean, his music was basically about freedom. The primary beauty of Bob's music was that it was freedom. And it was thoughtful--

Speed: Catchy, too--

Drizzle: He believed in himself and we believed in him.

Speed: We believed in the Bob who believed in himself--and the people.

Drizzle: I see what you did there. The idea, though, that thirty-two years after Legend was dropped, it's still good? Music isn't made like that anymore.

Speed: Granted, though...Legend was more of a greatest hits album in some ways. But, it really was GREATEST hits.

Drizzle: But, Speed. You've gotta remember. Albums were a newer concept back then.

Speed: True. A lot of albums, across genres, were still either a couple of songs long or nothing but four singles and a bunch of reprises of those singles' themes. For instance, like, The Temptations. Now, David Ruffin is an amazing talent and one of my favorite artists from his era. However, many Temps albums lacked a real "album" feel, at least as we know the word today.

Drizzle: Yep. But, here? We've a "Best of" album and it goes.

Speed: And goes harder than a lot of actual albums, then and now.

Drizzle: The problem with "Best of" albums is that they tend to lack any real direction or coherence, really. But, for music that's based on and around freedom? That's a helpful thing--

Speed: Beat me to it. But, yeah. If the music is based on freedom and love and the like, those things? They know no real shackles or restraints.

Drizzle: Which means one thing about Legend. Every song is good. Every...last...one.

Speed: Like I said. It's a "greatest hits" album full of the greatest "hits"(Speed "air quotes" as he says "hits"). Now, the air quotes are for one reason. It's to symbolize that not every song on the album was originally a flat-out blockbuster. However, after people fully began to entirely appreciate Marley's genius and freedom, I feel they became such.

Drizzle: I feel that. Between 1972 and 1984, when Legend was released, there was a compilation of music that was good. Why? Bob never cared about the charts. He didn't go and change his style up just to push tracks. Win, lose, or draw, Bob Marley just kept being Bob Marley.

Speed: And that's why he's gained the following he has. He stayed true. He spoke of love, freedom, and redemption. And, again, he stayed true.

New To Me Music: @WilesMartyr - SixBlox

$
0
0

A year ago today, West Philadelphia artist *Wiles Martyr dropped SixBlox, a six-track EP featuring production from uprising producers Brooklyn Taylor, Contact Lens, and RhetoricWallace and a verse from Andre Martel of the Nature World outfit. After getting hip to Brooklyn recently, I got hip to this project. It's breezy in the sense that it's a six-track EP that's about 19 minutes long. However, in those 19 minutes, *Wiles, who attempts to recapture that old-school demo tape feel throughout, positions himself as a coherent and reliable storyteller. Add in some pretty legitimate multis and schemes, and you've got a must-hear project. 

PA Volume 29: Loyalty

$
0
0
NSFW Warning/Disclaimer: 
PA (short for "Profound Assholes") is a series on SpeedontheBeat.com where I have a no-punches-pulled conversation with a friend about a hot-button issue (yay cliches!). That friend is usually none other than Drizzle Sez formerly of DrizzleSez.wordpress.com, who co-created the PA format (go check out his site. It's still live and still kicks much ass to this day). Today, we discuss...loyalty. Yep, we're coming for the heads today.

Drizzle: Let's talk loyalty.

Speed: Well, that's blunt. Let's talk loyalty.

Drizzle: Indeedly. Throw the fe-lines out the door, you pussies. Enjoy the missing jugulars. It's PA Time! So, anyone who knows the TRUE FACE of Drizzle, you know I'm loyal as a damn dog to people whom I deem worthy. But, way, way, wayyyyy too often, I find that most people aren't. Sometimes, breaking loyalty is smart. But, in today's world? It's becoming more commonly based on stupid human emotion. Blind ambitions. All that shit.

Speed: Well, that's what makes humans...stupid.

Drizzle: They just are. Okay, okay...let's go back and research. Why are humans or any living creatures loyal at all?



Speed: Pack mentality? Organisms fear that if they don't have someone in their corner, they'll die out.

Drizzle: Survival. Once upon a time--

Speed: Not long ago, you were a ho and now, you're admitting it?


Drizzle: Stop it. As I was saying...once upon a time in human history, the odds of a sole person surviving at all were laughable. A person's life expectancy back then? It was directly proportional to how many goons you knew. Passed down generations, survival isn't the only motivator anymore. But, loyalty still exists for several reasons that are beneficial.


Speed: True. Such as? I mean, ya know, go forth and outline them for the folks who don't know.

Drizzle: I mean, there's a lot. Social, emotional, economical--pick your poison.

Speed: So, why aren't people loyal, then? And when does it become a problem?

Drizzle: It's always a problem. This is a problem that hurts me right in the heart muscle. But DIGRESSION!

Speed: Pseudo. But, continue.

Drizzle: Sometimes, bridges need burning. Sometimes, the group's best interest aren't your best interests anymore. But that leads to this: whenever loyalty is severed, it's always due to selfishness.


Speed: True. But, is being not loyal to preserve the overall best interest of everyone, is that still selfish? Sometimes, it's needed to preserve both self and other. Or, at least, that's what we believe and/or tell each other and ourselves to make it seem better mentally. 

Drizzle: If what the group is doing is not for the best interest of the group, then someone made a bad decision. If they try to force you into the decision, they're selfish. If you ditch because you wanna do something else, you're selfish. But, there's levels to selfishness. It could literally be a fleeting emotion and that's it. Or, it could be lethal--

Speed: So, is selfishness an outright bad thing? Can selfishness be "good?" Or is it always inherently bad?

Drizzle: Well, let's look at this. If you don't wanna help me move because you're tired, you're selfish. If you want to kill me because you think it'll make your life easy, you're selfish. And no. Selfishness isn't always a bad thing. But, loyalty to a group is different than loyalty to a person. Loyalty to a person is...a little more intimate. To have loyalty to a person, you've gotta have trust on both sides. You're not the cog of a well-oiled machine anymore. It's personal.

Speed: Some people, they seem like they never understand that in terms of what makes loyalty and friendships work. It becomes me me me, in a bad way. Not in the "I'm preserving my life and my best interests because you're on some sort of BS" sort of way.

Drizzle: Well...let's get personal. I was on this one girl for a while. One day, she decides she want to fuck on someone else. She didn't do it.

Speed: Alright.

Drizzle: Now, as I see it? Fuckin' ain't love. If it meant nothing, give me bruh's name and location. She did. And what did I do?

Speed: Tattoo your fist imprint on his temple?

Drizzle: Nothing. Know why? Because I don't have to. The way I saw it then, she's only gonna have one of us. But, telling me his name and location told me that she didn't care about him. Because, as you said, the expectation was that I was gonna go floor dude. THAT was loyalty to me.

Now, let's fast forward. The relationship is waning down. I still think it can be fixed with some work. Meanwhile, she wants some alone time.

Speed: Is this where she goes back to fucking on dude?

Drizzle: Well, no. She decides she wants to fuck on some dude she works with this time. But she does through with it. What do I do? I get mad. Girl tried to start that ring talk, but wants a break. I fume for a second and bring it back: what's his name and location? She tells me. I'm like "Oh, ok. We can work this out."

Speed: Right...

Drizzle: Turns out that she lied about that shit. So, I end it abruptly right there. It's not because she fucked someone else. It's not that she's, obviously, a creepy bitch. She lied to protect him. So, to me? She's loyal to him and not me. And well? Drizzle ain't about that.

Speed: As no sane person should be. But, how you gonna lie about it when you're caught redhanded? That's what I don't really get. That "deny it, even if she finds a vagina in your pocket" shit doesn't really work. Regardless of what Chris Rock and Jerry Seinfeld said in Top Five. I tried it once. It failed.


Drizzle: Well, this ain't to bash her. It's to say what loyalty gains--and what a lack of it loses.

Speed: But, loyalty loss. It loses a lot. Usually, it's respect and ended relationships. Sometimes, it's for the best. Something? Sometimes, you fuck up and lose everything you'd worked for just for a couple seconds of so-called "peace."

Drizzle: That girl wanted it all. She could have had it. But, she'll find out in a few months what and how much she lost. People are naturally not loyal. This girl had a "what have you done for me lately?" demeanor. Answer? Nothing. So, she stopped being loyal. To use humanfolk, loyalty is conditional and based off the positive effects being loyal has.

Speed: Or the negatives. Duh, derp derp, all that shit.

Drizzle: Point is, we stop being loyal when we stop seeing a point to it. Doesn't sound bad, though. Why would I stay loyal when it's detrimental to me? The thing is this, though. The fact that nothing is positive doesn't always mean that everything is negative.

Speed: True. But, we tend to live in a black-and-white world.

Drizzle: No, we don't. Six-year-olds live in that world.

Speed: Alright, let me amend that. Six-year-olds and folks that have to shout out that they're adults tend to live in that world.


But, we all, to a degree, believe that some things are good, some are bad, and we tend to not question it as much as we could.

Drizzle: Idiots.

Speed: Oh, I agree.

Drizzle: Sometimes, there's just nothing. The flat space between the hill and the valley. Nothing good and nothing bad. That's the flatland of life. It's here that most people lost patience with their loyalty. At their lowest point, it can't get worse. At the highest point, why leave when it's good? It's when people don't know whether to look up or down. That's when they expect the worse and, often, create it.

Speed: Now, we're getting deeper and all philosophical. People are stupid, to a certain point. We've established that. We go for things that comfort us and tend to go apeshit when we exit said comfort zone. That's where that creation of the worst comes from, I'd like to think. Since, ya know, folks associate the unknown with being automatically bad since we can't predict it as much as we'd like to.

Drizzle: Indeed. Now, let's get even more personal. Speed, tell me about loyalty. From your Speed perspective.

Speed: Well, like yourself, I'm typically one of those "loyal to a fault" folks. I've, however, never been above cutting a person off if they were poisonous. Have I cut people off based solely on basic-ass emotions? Yeah. That's human nature. Do I try to, all of the time, weigh the positives and negatives in such situations? Hell, yeah.

For instance, a while ago, I was involved with this young woman. We were dating and all that nice stuff. Pretty serious, or, at least, I'd like to believe it was at the time. So, one day, I get stopped and arrested by police on a trumped-up charge. I call this young woman saying "hey, I need to to come get me from the police station five minutes from your house. I've been arrested on a BS charge and the cop who's here with me, he's willing to let me go if I have someone come pick me up."

She declines. Why? She says that she's got to sing at her ex-boyfriend's wedding in a couple house and for me to never call her again. So, I don't ask questions. I cut her off. Why? She wasn't loyal to me. She was loyal to my dick--and her singing abilities.

Now, on another note. When it comes to, like, my boys and shit? I do the same thing. I try to think with my mind when it comes to loyalty versus just my heart and "emotions." You can never make just emotion-based decisions and win in life. Do you want another?

Drizzle: Si.

Speed: Well, you said "get personal." You know, and the readers know, that you and I are like brothers. And, like the brothers we claim to be, we've had our disagreements and discrepancies over stuff. However, before either one of us flat out says "fuck you" to the other, we think. We remember "oh, hey. Drizzle was there for me when not too many were after my mom and dad died" or "Speed was there when that one chick fucked me over."

The good outweighs the bad by a heap and the times where there wasn't really anything? I'd like to think we actually used our brains to determine shit. I think that loyalty, in general, it's based around past experiences and using your brain to figure out what's real, what's fake, what's made-up-in-your-head bullshit versus a fleeting emotion, et cetera. Is it foolproof to base emotionally-drenched things in more intellectual capacities over flat out emotion? Eh...

But, it beats the hell out of just acting with your gut or heart all the time.

Drizzle: Emotions. Good for the soul. Good for socialization. Bad for society. Loyalty splits based on emotion. For instance, you'll do for your woman before you do for your boys. Because, and just so, you're more emotionally attached to your woman. But, look at tweens. More specifically, look at tween girls.


They'll do, more often than not, do more for someone who don't even like 'em before they do for their sandbox friends. And for what? Popularity? Logical sense could split loyalty just as well, of course. But, it rarely does. Split loyalty is not bad when done for the right reasons.

Speed: But, it'd appear that often, it's not done for the right reasons.

Drizzle: Not in my experience. But, I can't judge people for their decisions when the decisions themselves are not obviously stupid. But usually? They're obviously stupid.

Speed: True again.

Drizzle: For instance, leaving your boy stranded 40 miles from home so you can go spend time with a girl you're not even fucking? That's dumb ass shit.


Speed: True. I mean, we haven't really ever done it to folks. But, there are some who have. I don't get it, though. I'm not dipping on someone who's stranded unless I know, for 100% sure, that I'm getting laid. And even then! I'm gonna make sure my people are alright and taken care of. That's especially if it's just some random or a "boo jawn" or someone who isn't, like, a legit girlfriend.

Drizzle: It's a bad phenom. Because more often than not? It fucks you and the people involved up when you decide wrong. So what do you do? When your emotions fire off in the wrong direction. I try to calm down. Reach cold zero. Then make the logical choice.

Speed: True. Same. I mean, at least, I try to. Try because I know that me being me, I do have a habit of rushing into shit at times.

Drizzle: But, that logicality? It could save a friendship. It could save a life. Taking the time just to be sure that there's a real reason to severe the ties and stop being loyal. But, that's when you have...bad loyalty.

Speed: When you stick around even though there's a reason to dip? Or...?

Drizzle: It's simple. When loyalty becomes destructive, ditch it. You shouldn't be doing anything you think will have disastrous consequences because of someone else.

Speed: True. But, some just don't get this.

Drizzle: At that point, it's better if you advise certain parties how bad it is. Just saying.

Speed: So, what about loyalty to two people who don't like what the other does to you?

Drizzle: Easy. At the heart and soul of this discussion, always be real with yourself. Always be loyal to yourself.

Speed: Even if it hurts?

Drizzle: If you're loyal to yourself, it won't hurt.

Speed: This is true. It's when it comes to other when it starts to sting, at times. But, I'd rather you be loyal than spare feelings, though.

Drizzle: If you look out for your own best interests and know when those are tied to others and when they're not? You're fudging golden.

Speed: True. If I'm fucking up, I trust you to be like "hey, Speed. You're fucking up. Stop fucking up." That's a sign of loyalty.

Drizzle: Indeedly.

New Music from @AMOGETITDONE

$
0
0

During my UMD days, I ran into a lot of talented artists. From DK to Ikey, it's suffice to say that the area is an untapped gold mine. One of those artists, a DMV artist named Amo (BKA AMOGetItDone), has been on my radar for a minute as someone I always seek out when new music drops. Imagine my surprise when he laced me with two new tracks, "Problem" with Al'Lotey and a solo effort, "Please Don't." 

Both tracks have radio potential, from the sing-songy chorus on "Please Don't," aided by spacey synths to the grittiness of "Problem." If I had to pick a favorite out of the two, I'd go with "Problem" by a nose, as it feels the more radio ready of the two. Regardless, both tracks are pretty cool and warrant a peep.

PA Vol. 30: Drizzle and Speed's Tips to Getting Laid (Part One)

$
0
0
NSFW Warning/Disclaimer: 
PA (short for "Profound Assholes") is a series on SpeedontheBeat.com where I have a no-punches-pulled conversation with a friend about a hot-button issue (yay cliches!). That friend is usually none other than Drizzle Sez formerly of DrizzleSez.wordpress.com, who co-created the PA format (go check out his site. It's still live and still kicks much ass to this day). 

Today's PA, as it's our 30th edition, will delve into the topic of dating tips, tips to--if you're on that wavelength--potentially just get you laid, and more. As both Drizzle and I are straight, we can't--and won't, out of, ya know, that whole "putting words into other folks' mouths" thing we try to avoid--really speak on how it is for folks who are LBGTQI. Feel free to chime in via social media with your tips. Although, regardless of who you sleep with, fuckery is everlasting and some is mostly universal. 

Drizzle: So, I find myself drinking more these days.

Speed: Good thing or bad thing? I mean, is it good social drinking or that "Jesus Take The Wheel" sort of drinking people sometimes do when they feel their life is a shitstorm?

Drizzle: A little bit from column A, a little bit from column B. Especially since Sinatra Select is like this when compared to regular Jack or even Gentleman's Jack.


But, that's not the point. The point is now, in the bar? I see things.

Speed: Alright. What do you see?

Drizzle: Call me older, or wiser, or what-the-fuck-ever, but I'm not actively putting danger shields up because I've gotten used to it--

Speed: Living that bouncer life can do that to you--
Drizzle: But, I'm seeing other social interactions.

Speed: Does it disgust you or something?

Drizzle: Sometimes. Niggas lame, bruh. I'm sitting here, like, "I knew not to do that when I was eighteen!" I'm speaking to the things I've seen desperate boys pull. Example: if she's a lesbian. She's a lesbian. Don't try to "turn her straight." I mean, she didn't just "turn" gay overnight and you can't magically turn her straight overnight.


You're just making a clown of yourself.


Speed: Yep.

Drizzle: Fun digressive fact. I had this convo with a former lesbian--

Speed: How is she former?

Drizzle: Not really important. Remember our disclaimer?

Speed: Touche.

Drizzle: I told her that it was good that she was a lesbian when I was, myself, out and hunting. She asked "why?" I tell her because that knocks one possibility out of the water. If I know you ain't cutting, I can admire your beauty and leave your ass alone.

Speed: True shit.

Drizzle: Apparently, dem boyz in their early 20s? They have yet to learn such as lesson. Among other shit. So many mistakes. So much shit that they end up cockblocking themselves before anyone else does. For instance, if she says "hey I don't want you touching me" or blocks your hand if you go for her waist, ass, breasts, et cetera? TOUCHING HER IS BAD! 

Speed: NO TOUCHING!


If she says "no," then "no" means "no." It's simple shit.

Drizzle: Ain't even new nigga logic, though, to try and combat that simple thing. Look at the "no means yes" James Bond stuff. But, these boys need teaching, though.

Speed: So, how do we go about it, then?

Drizzle: Wrong question. First thing we need to ask is this: should we do it?

Speed: Well, I'm biologically responsible for two kids, my sons. The rest of these boys, technically, aren't my problem. At least from a biological standpoint. They can go fuck themselves for all I care. But, then I think about it. What if their fuckery gets into my kids' heads?

Drizzle: Quite frankly, more idiots increase the odds of good guys. But, girls? They get ruined sometimes by...assholes.

Speed: Profound ones?

Drizzle: Ehh...fuck it. Young folks, get your panties untwisted and prepare to get all butt hurt on social media. You motherfuckers out here ain't got no game and you're driving women insane! You don't know how to get respectful? Well...in the immortal words of Kevin Hart:


Speed and Drizzle: It's PA Time, y'all.

Drizzle: Now every negus tried to put some free game knowledge on people. And it's shit that works for them. Likewise, this is shit that works for me--and shit that works for Speed. Shit we've seen and shit that I've hated. Learn, bitches!

Speed: Alright. I'll chime in a bit later on. Get ya PA on.

Drizzle: I guess the first thing you've got to know about picking up girls is what's in your brain and what pumps your heart muscles. Sincerity is key. If you're fake, you gonna get fake bitches. Knowledge is power. Fun facts keep conversations going. Educate yourself, too. No one wants a dummy. So, practice being witty--but not a smartass.

Speed: Or, inversely, if you're going to be a smartass with your wit, try to balance it out. Balance it out with legitimate charm. No one likes a "I think I know it all" person. And that's especially if you're just here, both drunk in a bar, looking for some ass. Ain't nobody got time fo' dat.

Drizzle: Dated memes aside, the point of being witty is being smooth--not a jackass. Now, some say "smooth's played out" and has been played out since the '90s. No. That version of smooth was played out. Smooth is everlasting and evolves with the times. Now? We're thinking about smooth transitions. When your brain is working it out, you can smoothly change topics or smoothly jump from one point to the next. But, more on that later.

The second detail of import is this. Keep your brain head right. Remember what's most important in the world. You.


You! Not the hunt. Not the pussy! Not the drinks! YOU, motherfucker. Have self-worth in your brain head. If you don't find yourself worthy, why the fuck would she?!

Speed: True. If you find yourself worthless, you'll get worthless folks in your area and worthless women in the backseat of your car. Now I don't mean "worthless" as in they, themselves, have no overall worth. We're all worth something in the world. But, I mean, worthless as in they, themselves, have and deserve no worth for you to hop out the woodwork and pursue.

"Basic," I think that's what the kids call 'em these days.


Drizzle: Bruh. You're jumping ahead. You've gotta ease these negi into this.

Speed: ...I forgot that some of these young'uns are just plain stupid/just can't embrace more than one idea at a time.

Drizzle: Just sayin'. But, now, your head and your heart are working together. You got your brain head up. You're ready to go hunting--WAIT! Negus, you ain't ready to walk out the door yet. Clean your house. Wash your dishes. No, I'm for real! Go do that. Make your crib look like a damn furniture store.


You've got self-worth. Live like it. Done? Okay. WAIT! Wait again, my negus. You can't leave the house yet. You don't even know where you're going!

Speed: So, where are they going? Club? Bar? Someone's house from OKC to try and get the Netflix and Chill on? A coffee shop to meet someone they swiped right on?

Drizzle: Find out where you're going. Research a bit. Simple. And, for now, we're going with cold pickups. No interweb dates. We can do that later.

Speed: Ok.

Drizzle: Ok. So you've researched the venue. Now you can dress APPROPRIATELY! It can't be stressed enough. If you look like a hobo, you'll be treated like, what, Speed?

Speed: A hobo?

Drizzle: A hobo. If you look like you don't belong, people'll treat you like you don't belong.

Speed: Damned right. Digression time. A couple years back, I did a social experiment by mistake. I went into R.J. Bentley's and Cornerstone in College Park with slacks and shit on. It was when none of the regulars were there. I got some of those "hi Dad" stares from folks. That was even before I went bald, so...yeah. Dress appropriately.


(Speed and Drizzle laugh)

Drizzle: Now, don't get it twisted. Always dress one level up when you're in doubt--

Speed: But, I mean...it was Bentley's.

Drizzle: Indeed. You wanna stand out from the crowd, but still be a part of the crowd. Subtly. Example. Let's go with your discussion about Bentley's. Everyone and their bro, they're wearing cheap button-ups--

Speed: Button-ups they probably got from Rugged Warehouse the afternoon before--

Drizzle: Eh, maybe. Who knows? Regardless, you go in there with a button-up and a modest watch. That small little detail will set you apart.

Speed: Inversely, you go in there with a three-piece and most folks will look at you like Dr. Z--minus the "people studying."

Drizzle: But, yeah. Ok. You're clothed appropriately. You better be groomed. If I had to tell you that, there's no hope for you. Like, at all. On that point, cologne. I hate when I catch dudes like this:


Speed: Yeah. Don't bathe in the shit. Especially for, like, Axe and those sorts of things. Even legit cologne--

Drizzle: Nah, bruh. No one--and I mean no one--should smell you before they see you. If you must wear it, single squirt. At the neck. No one should know it's there until they're damn near giving you hickies.

Speed: Or, ya know, just smell good in general. Bathe, have your pheromone game up, et cetera.

Drizzle: As I said, if you need lessons on basic grooming, you ain't gettin' laid.

Speed: You'd be surprised, though. Digression time. I did another experiment, this time while being depressed as hell. So, I decided to try the Naya Rivera bath schedule. You know, only bathing every second-and-a-half day because, apparently, only white people bathe every day. I know, I know, she apologized for it. But, stick with me. I did that, I was super depressed and didn't know what to do with my life.

...but, I had charm, clean drawers, and still kept my smell good game skrong. So, I still got panties thrown my way. All in all, I'm saying that you've gotta keep your whole body Zestfully Clean, ya bastards. Even if you're not showering thrice a day. If you don't bathe, they won't fuck on you.


Drizzle: Ah, so we're bringing back the shameless plugs?

Speed: I mean, this is volume thirty after all. Let's get all the shit we can out of it as I sip on my Canada Dry ginger ale. Anyway, you're showered, your smell good game's on point, and you're dressed. Now what?

Drizzle: Well, you know the where, since you researched it.

Speed: So, now we're at the where, right? Don't go getting plastered. I've done it. It ends badly. For instance, you could end up, like someone I knew some time ago, throwing up on the girl you're trying to bring home--

Drizzle: Nope. Too fast. Bring it back. We haven't even left the damn house. I mean, the issue is patience. Be patient--

Speed: I just hate that we've gotta go all paint-by-numbers, connect-the-dots with folks.

Drizzle: Fair. But, you're clean, you're clothed, you know what you're walking into. Walk out the door. When you do, leave all your negativity at the door. Take none of that with you. When you leave your house, all the things that upset you, from baby mama drama to a bad day at work--leave it. Your thoughts should be one one thing and one thing only. No, not pussy.

You should be thinking about how much fun you're gonna have tonight.

Speed: True.

Drizzle: Now, you're out the door. So, how are you gonna get to the spot? If you're drinking, it's best to Uber it. If you're driving, I hope you also cleaned your whip before you set out. Clean whip? Bruh! Your whip is like your crib in that, if you have self-worth, your ride will reflect that.


Drizzle: Now, no. I'm not saying "hey, man. Ride up in a Rolls." I'm saying if you drive a hatchback Pinto, still keep your car clean and working.

Speed: True. Can't tell you how many times I've observed folks coming out, expecting to get everything in sight to go home with them, but had all sorts of indescribable stains and scuffs in their car.

Drizzle: Ok, so, you're riding, walking, driving, spelunking--

Speed: Don't forget skydiving through a Rubix Cube. Bitches love the Cube.

Drizzle: However you're getting to the spot, you're travelling there. While you're traveling, kick a freestyle.

Speed: A freestyle. Makes sense.

Drizzle: No, seriously. Rap. Rap like you mean it. Rap like you're about to battle 2001 Jay Z. Freestyle like there's a billion on the line. When you freestyle, you do two very important things.

Speed: Is one of those things adding in a motherfucker so the ignorant niggas hear me?

Drizzle: No.

Number one: You practice that whole wit thing we talked about earlier. In order to freestyle, you need to think on your feet and think well and fast.

And number two: You hear yourself. You know what you sound like and try to speak clearly.

These are skills you need to interact with the fairer sex properly. Freestyling is your warm-up. Can't freestyle? WRONG! You left negativity at the door. You can do anything--within reason--including freestyle.

Speed: Tell 'em.

Drizzle: First time? Fine. Recite this song until you get the hang of it:


Speed: Yep. Go 'head and make the impossible possible.

Drizzle: Now, let me stress this. I believe you have no business hitting on girls if you have zero money. Get some CASH--ya know, those little green pieces of people--in your pocket. No, for real for real. Stop at the ATM and get, at least, twenty bones cash if you don't have it in your pocket already.

Speed: True. Even if it's just a couple bucks.

Drizzle: I don't care if you got a Black Card. YOU. NEED. CASH!!!


Noooooooobody wants this embarrassing situation: you get to the front door and there's a cash-only cover charge. Now, you just hurt yourself and anyone who saw it? They'll clown you when you finally do get in. It could be a quiet clowning, it could be loud and boisterous. Either way, you just fucked yourself.

But wait! WAIT! We forgot. Who are you riding with? No one? Someone? Everyone? If it's "someone," they best to be best following the same rules as you. Just saying. Who you with will either help or hurt you.


If their shit ain't on point like your's is? You're setting yourself up for failure. Now, there is an exception here. If you're a tool. No, hear me out.

Speed: ...alright.

Drizzle: Now, if your shit is dramatically more on point than your people's, then you get up points by comparison. But, you're not a tool. You're good peoples. We don't set up our homeboys like that.

Speed: So, you and your boys have gotta be on the same level. Or at least a comparable level.

Drizzle: Now, ve hunt. You walk in the spot. You left your negativity at home. So, smile! No matter what, you're here to have fun. Even if you get no pussy, no numbers, no smiles, you are going to have fun tonight. Have that "I'm happy to be here" smile on your face.


But, not outright hysterically happy, of course. That's weird. I mean, have that slight upcurve on your lips. No woman wants to be with someone who's boring or sad. So be happy and content. I mean, half of your success is based off of what you did before you walk in.

Speed: This is true. And with that, we leave you. Stay tuned for part two to this Tip Sheet.

Why Don't We See Boris Kodjoe Get Better Roles?

$
0
0
I'm Speed on the Beat and I review crap, so others don't have to. You know this already. However, the following is a variation of the infamous WIRTB Review. Instead of looking at, for instance, one movie, I'm taking a look at the film/television career of someone and ask the question that some may want to know.

Why Don't We See Them Get Better Roles?

Today's subject is Black Lady Eye Candy Number One, Boris Kodjoe.


Stick with me, blind fanfolks. You may see what I'm getting at. Heck, you may even agree (gasp!).

Now, anyone who's seen Boris Kodjoe in, say, Real Husbands of Hollywood, Soul Food, or even the ill-fated series Undercovers, will know two things. First, he's a attractive black man on the younger side of 50 who speaks a slew of languages that has, seemingly, a pretty magnetic personality. While that sets him up to be "bald, light-skinned black savior number one" in many films (see Madea's Family Reunion, The Gospel, etc.), it theoretically opens up a lot of roles and doors. Second, he's not that bad of an actor. While he's not knocking down The Academy's door with performance after performance, when he's given great material, he usually does well. So, why don't fans of Mr. Kodjoe's work see him getting better roles in Hollywood?

I think the answer is two-fold.

One, he's an attractive black guy on the younger side of 50. Therefore, he's probably been typecasted into the role of the "[bald, light-skinned] black savior to the woman who needs saving from her abusive something-or-other." It's the same thing that happened with Shemar Moore before he caught on with Criminal Minds. Hell, they both appeared in Tyler Perry movies within the span of two years! It's like asking why we don't see Taraji P. Henson in more roles that aren't just ratchet as hell. While they're both great in the roles they get, they're so good at them that you often don't see them for anything other than "Damon from Soul Food" or "Cookie Lyon from Empire," respectively.

"But, Speed," you're probably about to start. "Taraji has won a Golden Globe and has been in Oscar-nominated films. Even Shemar Moore got a Daytime Emmy. Why can't Boris get that recognition?" That, of course, brings me to the second part of my theory as to why we don't see him in better roles. Outside of the "[bald, light-skinned] black savior to the woman who needs saving" roles, when he's appeared in film, he hasn't exactly been blessed with the greatest material to work with. Look at his IMDB page.

No, seriously, folks. Ladies, get your eyes off his abs and look at the films he's been in. They aren't that good and his roles within most of them have been...subpar. And Hollywood is all about "what have you done for me lately?" And if one of your best answers is "oh, I starred as Sharon Neal's husband in Addicted," you're probably going to get one of two things. Either you're going to get more "eye candy" roles, or you're going to get roles that don't exhibit your entire range of ability.


But, is it really that bad to have a Boris Kodjoe in, say, Baggage Claim for a couple minutes as just a "hot body" for our female leads--and many audience members, at times--to gawk at? Eh...not really. If that's what's keeping his family fed, who am I really to judge? However, I've seen glimpses of his acting skills and comedic timing and think there's more to his abilities than just being the "hot black guy."

Now, is he Denzel or Will Smith in terms of his performances? Again, maybe not. The sample size is smaller. And both Denzel and Will have had stinkers, so...yeah. But, in the next couple years, I'd like to hope this question will be asked less and less. Plus, the guy's a great humanitarian, he and his wife are probably one of the few "legit" relationships left (and, believe it or not, I'm a big proponent of relationships), and he seems like a decent person. He deserves a great, memorable movie role just based off that alone.


We'll see. As always, though, this is just my opinion. Don't block me.

New Music: @TooMuchCharlie - "Smoke When I'm Working (Freestyle)"

$
0
0

Still riding high from his collaboration with Jay IDK, Charlie Too Much drops another dope track in anticipation for his new project. This freestyle, equal parts Southernplayalistic and synthy goodness, features the DMV native (and SpeedontheBeat.com vet) detailing his path to success--mainly being on another level, lyrically and smoking-wise, than some of his peers and predecessors. The beat, just off its draped up-but-chilled out vibe, gives listeners an opportunity to smoke sum'n (bitch!) and just mesh with the lyrics.

WIRTB Review: The Perfect Guy

$
0
0

In the past couple years, we've gotten a lot of sexually-charged "psychological thrillers." From Fifty Shades of Grey--which played more like a romantic drama than a delve into complicated BDSM relationships--to Addicted--which played more like 28 Days meets Pornhub--we've seen a lot of these films. It's kind of like how when one superhero movie does well, we get a shitload of horrible ones (hi Catwoman, Elektra, every Fantastic 4 movie, etc.) to bank off the hot ticket. 2015's The Perfect Guy is not the exception, but the follower of the rule. But, was it really that bad? Considering star Sanaa Lathan actually dealt with a stalker in real life, I really don't want to rip on this movie.

BUT...

When the finale to your movie seems like you ripped it off from the Lifetime Movie of the Week--and still managed to fuck it up, do we really need to ask this question? When every part of the movie that could be halfway worth a watch is given away in the friggin' trailer, do I really need to review this movie? But, of course, that's what I'm here for. I'm Speed on the Beat and this is WIRTB Review where I review the crap so you don't have to. Speaking of that trailer...


Leah (Sanaa Lathan) wants marriage and happiness, so she hops onto the first guy who seems to want the same. In other words, she's afraid of being a spinster. Her long-term boyfriend, Dave(Morris Chestnut), doesn't want kids, so he seems to be portrayed as the asshole that eventually sees the errors of his ways--until crazy mo-fo Carter/Robert (Michael Ealy) kills the hell out of him. And the aforementioned Carter/Robert is the perfect guy who ends up being a friggin' lunatic. If I'm not mistaken, it was "classic movie magic bipolar" that drove him to be this way.

For fuck's sake, movie people! As someone who suffers from BD, I can attest that bipolar is a lot more complicated than nymphomaniac, "I'm gonna murderize the world" manic days and suicidal, depressive, "fuck life. Let's take tons of drugs" days.

But, back to the movie itself.

Either way, they all suck.

It starts off as so many movies of this ilk do. Sidney--I mean Leah, she's all "I want kids." Dave's like "eh...let's chill a bit," even though they're both in their thirties--being played by folks in their mid-to-late 40s--so they break up. Leah eventually meets Carter, who works with an IT firm. Right off the bat, you know something's off--even if you didn't see the trailers. He works in IT and most IT folks in movies are either terrorists, uber nerds, or stalkers with a mean streak who are one step away from completely spazzing the fuck out and mowing people down.


...guess which one Carter is.


Of course, they break up. Honestly, though? They didn't really feel like they had any chemistry to begin with. So, ignoring the craziness of Carter, I'd be perfectly fine with them breaking up. There could've been a better movie in that they break up and she and Dave legitimately work things out. Hell, she could start dating someone else. But, since this is a stalker movie, we've gotta get some stalking!

After the break, Carter, the crazy stalker man who gained, to a degree, a key to Leah's house on the first date (seriously, who the hell leaves a key taped under a rock and shows it to folks?!), does stalker things. And because Hollywood, Dave comes back out of nowhere to get his glo-up on and be the "bald black savior." They begin to do so. Meanwhile, Carter, even though he's pretty much got a sign over him saying "hi, guys! I'm crazy as fuck," he continues to cyberstalk Leah. The plot goes as far as to paint him as some sort of psycho Superman. He evades the restraining order, police interaction, and even kills Leah's next door neighbor.

That goes on until Carter murderizes Dave by forcing his car off the road. Carter, eventually, gets brought in for an interrogation. Said interrogator, a Detective Hansen (Holt McCallany), turns off the camera and starts to assault Carter.

Ok, I know that Carter is the bad guy and Hansen is one of the white saviors of the movie. Plus, you know, cops! But, this scene has an uncomfortable air about it, in that it brings up images of Mike Brown, Eric Garner, Sandra Bland, etc. However, Carter's bad! We're supposed to want him to get the shit beat out of him. But, I don't know. It's something about the way the scene went down that rubbed me in an awkward way. And as bad of a bad guy Carter is presented as, I would've loved to have seen a scene in which Carter throws Hansen off his trail by claiming police brutality. Instead, this potentially potent scene, it gets thrown out the window for Hansen advising Leah to get a shotgun with bean bag ammo because "if he attacks you in your house, you have the right to shoot and kill the hell out of him."

End of movie, right? Nope. We've got to go all revenge movie, since Leah's our battered and bruised heroine. I'm not exactly against these scenes, as they allowed for a bit of cat and mouse between Leah and Carter. They also gave Leah a one-up against Carter. She knew that Carter would want revenge, so--in getting her own revenge--she destroys his credibility and invites him to her house by spray painting "bring it bitch!" on his apartment wall. She, in some ways, becomes what she fears to combat who she fears.

As soon as we get this higher moment of cinema, we're given the stereotypical, Lifetime movie ending. Leah and Carter get into a fight at her house. Leah gets some stabs in and then shoots Carter with the shotgun--twice (since the first bean bag shot was the "warning"). Leah, for some reason, doesn't stay in the house and goes to the police station to report a break-in.

End movie.

Ok, the movie is bad. Oh, my God, is it bad? But, at least Michael Ealy was downright creepy. Sure, his character, by the end, seemed more like he'd be twirling his mustache and tying Sanaa Lathan to some railroad tracks. But, there's something chilling but intriguing about seeing Ealy's character, probably because of the use of The Weeknd's "High for This" in the trailer.

However, even that redeeming quality gets thrown out the window. How? Well, simply put, everyone in the film gets broken down to broad strokes. You'd think that the screenwriter of Menace II Society would be a bit more versed in nuanced characters who, even when they fulfill stereotypes, are still complex.

Oh, and "High For This" isn't even used in the gotdamn movie! It's like using "Earned It" to promote Fifty Shades of Grey then swapping it out for a Taylor Swift song in the scenes where it'd make the most fucking sense! Good ol' Hollywood bait-and-switch. "Oh, hey! The Weeknd's music is being used for that other sexual psychological thriller. Let's use it in this one's trailer to fuck with people and draw them in." Oh, yeah. The sex. There isn't much of it.

Hell, I think that's one of the reasons why The Perfect Guy fails. It plays it safer than a guy wearing five condoms. Not only does it seem to rely on every friggin' psychological thriller trope in the book (women desperate for "love?" Check. Sassy black/white friends saying "mmmhmmm, hunnie. Youze gotta get away from that man?" Check. Crazy guy steals cat? Wait, that's not a trope, but he gets a cat and cat people are usually seen as crazy, plus kleptomania! So...check), it doesn't even do the tropes right!

Most of the tropes, they're done so ridiculously awful that you can't help but chuckle at their absurdity. For instance, let's look at two GIF-worthy moments from the movie:



I know it's horrible to say this, but I almost expected a laugh track to play after Carter looks into the camera and breaks the fourth wall. And with regards to the "shhh" scene, it felt like the movie was telling the audience "shhh. I know it's bad. Stick with us because BLACK CINEMA!"

That brings me to my final point. I understand that every film with black people isn't a "black film." However, this film could've used a healthy dose of race relations--or at least something to make the characters feel more human. The Perfect Guy, it could've been done with Reese Witherspoon, Channing Tatum, and Tony Goldwyn and still would've sucked. None of the characters really stood out and maybe talking a bit about their race/ethnicity could've given some sort of life to these cut-out, one-dimensional-ass characters. You've heard their dialogue in every movie like this and you've seen this movie done at least a couple hundred times. However, I haven't seen characters this basic and wooden since the early "men are evil and will hurt you because it's Lifetime" days. 

This film could've been so much better. It could've had more commentary on abuse, mental illness, or even race relations--especially considering the time in which it came out (BLM is/was at a peak, feminism was growing, especially among SM users, and everyone felt like they needed to have more in-depth talks). The characters should've been a bit less basic. Hell, if they even would've put a bit more sex in, I'd be more forgiving. As it stands, though?


I'm Speed on the Beat and this has been another WIRTB Review.

An SOTB!!! Interview with @OHaiNaomi

$
0
0
NSFW WARNING AND/OR DISCLAIMER: As with the PA Pieces on SpeedontheBeat.com, the following interview may not be suitable for all readers. It's not too vulgar but there is some mature content. Figured I'd throw a warning in here so Google and/or some more prudish people doesn't get all pissy.

...
...
...
...
Still with me? Good.

As it's known, I'm a big anime and comic fan. I'm also a pretty big fan of young women and sexual expression. When you combine the two, for me, there's that magical intersection that should be appreciated by many. Today's interview combines both of these personal favorites. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring to you a fast-rising up-and-comer who's putting in a lot of work--and is representing (quite well, I might add) for black camsters and nerdy folk--Naomi, better known by her handle ohaiNaomi.


Speed: For those sadly unaware of your awesome, can you give them a quick rundown of who you are and what you do?

Naomi: Well, I'm Naomi also known as "ohaiNaomi." I'm 19, and long story short, I make amateur porn from my home!

Speed: When did you first say to yourself, “hey, I enjoy pleasure and such, why not film myself?”

Naomi: Originally, I wasn't doing amateur videos. I started working as a camgirl on a few different popular camsites two months after my 18th birthday. Working as a camgirl, it was a part of my job to produce content such as videos or photosets to sell while I'm on cam.

Eventually, videos started to be my best sellers. I found Manyvids.com a few months later and it seemed like a nice way to make money while I wasn't online. I started to get tired of the competition and inconsistent traffic that came with webcamming, so I focused on making short videos.

Speed: Ok, this may be a really personal question. So, I enjoy when a woman is capable of squirting, especially since the human body's such a wondrous thing. I love all women, but...yeah (laughs). Anyhow, as a young woman who fully embraces female ejaculation, when did you first discover your ability to bring yourself to that point?

Naomi: I don't really remember how old I was, but it was the first time I'd ever tried to finger myself. I'd Googled how to's on finding the G-spot and achieving orgasm through penetration. I remember doing it and freaking out thinking I had peed all over my bed.

Speed: So, the first time, you were, like, quizzical of what happened or were you aware of what squirting was and that you’d just experienced your first orgasm of that kind?

Naomi: (laughs) Definitely. At the time, I could only cum from clitoral stimulation, so I didn't know what was going on. It was a rush and felt good so I was even more confused.

Speed: Reminds me of the first time I came from oral. I see that you’re one of the top ManyVids models. How’d that come about?

Naomi: I really don't know honesty. When I started out on MV, I was in 800's or so but there were maybe half of the girls that are on there now. I would try and promote the site and my own videos as much as I could while on cam.

I started climbing pretty quickly but I didn't get above the top 100 until I committed to making videos full time. From there I was producing them pretty quickly so I was selling more than other girls. Being a non-white, "curvy" model has been an advantage and a disadvantage.

Speed: I know you’re probably honored about the notice that you’ve gotten, but would you like more people to notice your awesome?

Naomi: Honestly, no. I love attention just as much as anyone else but sometimes I feel a little undeserving. It's overwhelming. I've never been as confident as I have since I started sex work, so this is all still new to me.

Speed: Understandable. So, do you feel that camgirls and adult entertainers who are persons of color--black especially--get ignored? And, if so, what would you say to get those who ignore your skills and sexiness to get their attention?

Naomi: Really glad you included this question. Absolutely. Hell yes. You look at any porn site and you'll see white girls spread all over the front page. They always make more than similar, non-white models. Let's just put it this way: they don't have a category for white women in porn because they don't need one.

I don't really have anything to say to those who ignore me because I'm black. I'd rather not have their attention.

Speed: Alright...to follow up, do you feel that our society focuses too much on skin tone instead of following that "great" adage “it’s all pink on the inside?”

Naomi: No. I think that it's good people are starting to be more open and comfortable in the skin they're in. Ignoring skin color all together and looking at everyone as the same is not only irrational, but it's racist.

Speed: True.

Naomi: Most people who say shit like "we're all humans anyway" are typically the kind who only feel that way when the case applies to themselves.

Speed: How do you tend to deal with folks who steal your work and post it on sites like YouPorn, ShesFreaky, etc.?

Naomi: At first, it felt really invasive and made me uncomfortable. Luckily most of those sites will take videos down if you file a DCMA. I've filed so many, I just consider it a part of my job description now.

Speed: What about those who try to slut-shame you for embracing your sexy?

Naomi: I'm not the one.

(Laughs) I've heard it all before, so don't waste your time or breath. There are 7 billion people in the world. Why are you worried about what I do with MY body?

Speed: I assume that the guy who appears in some of your films is your S.O. How does he feel about being and sexing on camera? I only ask since, with most of my interviews of this nature, the artists tend to stick to solo work. So, your videos are unique in that way.

Naomi: I don't have many with him but while he doesn't mind, he hates doing them. Even amateur porn takes a lot of work to make happen and I think he would much rather leave the work to me and enjoy having sex off-camera (laughs).

Speed: True shit. Do you plan to open up your own site? Or are you going to stick with ManyVids, MyFreeWebcams, etc. for the time being?

Naomi: I've been working on it! It was supposed to already be published, but I'm not good with deadlines. I'm done with MFC for now.

Speed: One of first things that caught my attention was your Yoko Littner cosplay. As readers of the site know, I'm a hugeGurren Lagann fan. How have you been able to inject your nerdy side into your work?

Naomi: It was pretty easy actually. Lots of girls do the little Sailor Moon cosplays with the bikinis you can buy online, and that was my first cosplay video. I then did Gamora, and she was one of my favorites. I just love getting into character and feeling like someone else for a moment. People seemed to really like my Yuno cosplay so I stuck with it. It also makes it fun. I enjoy cosplay videos 10x more than vanilla ones.


Speed: I've gotta check Future Diary out. Ive been putting it off for a while. With that said, what are some of your favorite anime? Would it be safe to assume Gurren Lagann is on that list somewhere?

Naomi: Not on my top 5, maybe my top 10. Yoko was more for my boyfriend who is really into her.

Speed: Good choice, by the way.

Naomi: I did enjoy the series. But to be honest? I'm into the gruesome stuff. Some of my favorites arePsycho Pass, Blood C,Elfen Lied, and GITS. I have a thing for deadly women.

Speed: They're some of the sexiest. Have you heard they're doing a GITS game?

Naomi: Noooooooooo! Holy shit I can't imagine how awesome that would be. I suck at video games but I would definitely give that a try.

Speed: From what I've seen, it doesn't have as much of the GITS feel, outside of the intro missions. Let's hope they fix that and introduce more of what made the movies and the series legendary.

So, do you cosplay outside the “adult entertainment”/camming world? Or is it strictly for the cam world?

Naomi: I actually have never cosplayed outside of porn. I wasn't confident enough to dress up at cons before but I might get into it in the near future! I'm not much of a people person, so strangers taking pictures of/with me makes me anxious.

Speed: Since you dressed as Deadpool in one of your videos, one that I've actually got to cop myself, I’ve gotta ask. Do you think that Ryan Reynolds will be a good Deadpool? Or do you think Reynolds will get so caught up in the goofy side that he’ll forget that, in addition to being one of the most quirky, bat-shit crazy Marvel superheroes, Deadpool is also quite friggin’ deadly?

Naomi: Honestly no, I think Ryan is a good pick. I haven't seen him in many serious roles but he seems like he knows what he's doing. I just hope they don't try and dim it down for the kids. You're right, he is deadly, but he's pretty crude in general.

Speed: The trailers seem pretty decent, though. And, it's an R-rated flick. So, fingers crossed. Aside from embracing your inner otaku and your nerdishness, what are some activities you enjoy when you’re not filming?

Naomi: I'm really crafty. Like Martha Stewart crafty.

Speed: Oh, really now?

Naomi: I Pintrest more than your local soccer mom. I'm actually quite the artíst.

Speed: Also, aside from webcamming and the like, what other things are you pursuing?

Naomi: At the moment? I'm hoping to get into cosplay professionally. If I can ever get into it without taking my clothes off, I would love to do professional shoots and events.

Speed: Do you have any advice to who want to explore the camming world?

Naomi: It's hard to give advice to people who want to get into online sex work because many people want different things. Some want to be successful and make a lot of money and other just enjoy the attention and the money is a nice bonus. So if you're interested in whatever whether it be webcam modeling or amateur porn producing as a full time career, the only thing I can tell you is to not give up.

[The] majority of girls quit their first few months because they didn't see the results they wanted right away. Some days men may give away money like its nothing but the next you may not make a dime. You just have to be patient, learn the hustle and stick with it. I can't tell you how many times I have claimed I was going to quit. It's not easy, it's rewarding, but it's not easy. And like anything thats rewarding, you have to earn it.

Speed: Great advice. Finally, as I always end my interviews with folks, do you’ve got any final shoutouts, words of wisdom, etc. to provide?

Naomi: I'd like to thank all of supporters whether it be customers or regular followers who have helped me get as far as I have. Super special thanks to my boyfriend, Nathan. He does a lot more for my business than he gets credit for. And a shoutout to all awkward/nerdy/quirky black women out there! Don't let anyone tell you you aren't sexy.

New Music: @MRGwingteam - "Feidin Santana"

$
0
0

MRG returns with a new track from the perspective of Feidin Santana, the young man who recorded the Walter Scott incident. Featuring a Mr. Carmack track, MRG puts himself--and listeners--into Santana's shoes in a lyrical examination of the Bystander Effect (and one man who countered it).

WIRTB Review: After Earth

$
0
0

In light of the Jada Pinkett Smith/Will Smith Oscars discussion (I don't wanna flat-out call it a "controversy"), I've decided to do a WIRTB Review for a movie most would say is probably Will's worst. Yep, we're talking After Earth. I'm Speed on the Beat and I need a new catchphrase.

If you haven't seen After Earth, don't waste your time. Here're the basics you need to know about it.

  • It's an M. Night Shyamalan film
  • It's an M. Night Shyamalan film done before The Visit and after his good movies
  • MNS also co-wrote the script
  • Will Smith and Jaden Smith partake in this weird-ass, stereotypical African-meets-Imperial Soldier accent because SPACE FOLKS ALWAYS SOUND BRITISH AND STUFF
  • There are enough plotholes in this film that you could throw a planet through them, Gurren Lagann-style.
  • If you're a conspiracy theorist, you'd probably see right through the spacey crap and see nothing but Scientology (maybe).
  • Oh, and apparently, if you don't like the movie, some will say you're either a racist or indulging in self-hatred.
I don't hate Will Smith. I think that he's a decent actor. However, this movie, for so many, was horrible. But...was it really that bad? Let's begin. 

Our film opens with your typical Halo-esque opening that many action films these days ape. Humanity's dying. Aliens are taking over the world. Humanity escapes to space and a new planet, Nova Prime. The aliens have big Scorpion-meets-Covenent creatures called Ursa who sense fear.

Their appearance on film looks like Sharknado meets Full Metal Ninja.
Hell, I'd rather see a Pierre Kirby/Godfrey Ho flick.
At least their horribleness is countered by the fact I can straight up LMAO at it all...

Enter the cavalry and the obligatory "ish gets real and aliens get sliced and blow up" scene where we're introduced to one of our main characters. Apparently, Will Smith's Cypher Raige (which sounds more like a rap battle gone wrong than the name of a person) suppresses his fear and can "ghost." Ok, I'll admit. The concept of "ghosting" is pretty cool. It reminds me of something out of, for instance, Ghost in the Shell. But, where the GITS writers were able to fully explain how their brain-hacking and such worked--and damned well, might I add--Shyamalan and company just kind of put it out there and say "hey guys! Cypher and folks like him are, pretty much, anime characters. Roll with it."

The introduction of Cypher is another point of "WTF?" I get that he's supposed to be a Savior-esque character. But, for the love of pasta, did he really have to slow-walk into the frame and start murderizing everything in site? Meh. 

Also, the friggin' accents. I thought they were bad before. But watching this film again, it seems like everyone has a cold and a stick up their ass. They sound like if someone spoofed a spoof of Coming to America and everyone was Semmi, but on all sorts of anti-manic episode medication. They sound like that whiny brat who didn't get that one toy for Christmas even though he got everything else imaginable. 

I guess that's how it must've been in the Smith home after this movie bombed.

Anywho, while Cypher's raging and suppressing or whatever, his son Kitai (which means "hope,"if my internet Japanese is correct) is all Shinji-esque, since he blames himself for his sister's death. We get flashbacks of it happening, so we know it's real. So, like Shinji, he goes berserk and begins training to become a Space Warrior too. Excuse me, "a member of the Ranger Corps." Space Warrior, for some reason, sounds more bad-ass and less blah. But, of course, Shin--I mean Kitai, he's rejected from the Ranger Corps for being all reckless and not giving a damn about anything other than advancing his own goals. Even though we never see anything indicative of his failures, we're supposed to say "ok movie. We'll accept Kitai is a hothead with his heart in the right place but his actions are still kind of wonky because MOVIE STEREOTYPES!"

...hmmm...sounds like Jaden Smith in real life.


So, Cypher, the cagy veteran that he is, is close to retirement (of course) and is goaded into taking his reckless-ass son on a farewell mission. Why? Because nepotism, that's why! As they're going on their obviously easy retirement mission, things go horribly wrong (of course!) and Cypher and Kitai end up crash-landing on Earth after getting wrecked in an asteroid shower. This is after Kitai gets the crap scared out of him by an Ursa the crew have on board and a screw up to end many Will Smith movie character screw-ups (of-frigging-course!!!) 

After the ship crash-lands, we're given a few bits of unneccesary scenage. For instance, some wing-meets-Star Trek door thingy keeps opening and closing as Kitai tries to get his stuff together to be the new savior. Why? Who knows?! I guess Shyamalan thought it'd be symbolic...of how my brain cells are pushing to escape my brain as this movie goes on.

Mr. "Home Is Any Place That Has A Bed, A TV, And You" is tasked by Cypher to locate the ship's tail to send off a rescue beacon. Kitai is told that life on Earth is volatile as all hell (pretty much, everything wants to kill you and everything else--sort of like real-life Earth) and that he needs to be careful. What does Kitai do? He gets into a brawl with Hulk Hogan in Blackface Gigantic Baboons and gets poisoned and passes out for his troubles. Yay being careful!

"If the world was real, why do birds suddenly appear?"

After awaking, Kitai almost gets blown to hell by a thermal shift. In the span of a few scenes, Kitai has done absolutely everything wrong. And we're supposed to be cheering for this schmuck? We're supposed to believe he's Cypher's last hope? I'd put my faith in Cypher with his broken legs(!) before I'd trust Kitai with even fifty cents! 

Because at least Cypher seems smart about life.
Cypher gathers Kitai for story time and tells him of the first time he "ghosts." It's kind of a cool moment, in that "daddy teaching his son some new tricks in life" sort of way. However, after we get this halfway cool moment, we're thrown back into the cuckoo action. Kitai, after lying to his dad about screwing up his oxygen crystals during the Baboon Brawl, defies orders from Cypher. Why? Because MOVIE STEREOTYPES! Kitai gets all "you should've been there" over his sister, who I completely forgot her name until just now (it's Senshi. I'm getting the feeling that this movie was supposed to be an anime or, at the very least, an Americanime or something. Sorry for stereotyping). 

...actually, I'm starting to see a lot of Evangelion references/callbacks. 


Kitai wants to please his father and make things right. In doing so, he screws up and almost gets himself killed. The planet Earth has been destroyed by an entity that much isn't known about--other than when they arrive, ish gets deaded. The Earth has reset itself, to a degree Cypher is pretty much the black Gendo Ikari. Senshi serves, in some ways, as the proxy to Rei and Kaworu (minus the potential sexual overtones). The Ursa are grotesque creatures like the Angels. The Raige family is pretty messed up, psychologically, and are kind of broken.

The only thing we're missing in After Earth is a buttload of manufactured psychobabble by fans of the series. Instead, we get a buttload of fake science-y bullcrap in the actual script that sounds like a teenager wrote it in his final paper in an attempt to sound smart. Anyway, back to the story.

Stupid Shinj--Kitai goes skydiving to recapture the beacon because he wants to prove Dad wrong (hi Shinji, again!). And what happens to Stupid Kitai? He gets captured by a giant condor. Said condor acts as a protector to Kitai against a group of tigers because...I don't really know. Do we need an answer as to why some of this crap is happening? Eh...not really. After Stupid Kitai escapes, he builds a raft to get to the tail and then passes out and receives a Message from Beyond the Grave from Kaw--SENSHI who tells Stupid Kitai to get up and remember his dad's just pissed because he couldn't save Senshi (sounds like Gendo and Yui to a degree, except Senshi was Cypher's daughter). 

At least we get to see Zoe Kravitz. Yay Zoe Kravitz.

The Message from Beyond the Grave trope works, as Stupid Kitai avoids getting frozen by a thermal shift. Kitai's condor friend arrives to let it go--I mean, save Stupid Kitai again before dying itself. With all this craziness, it seems the characters--and the movie itself somewhat--have forgotten about the beacon. We, of course, get a somewhat rushed ending.

Stupid Kitai finds the beacon. He can't use it because he's too low in the atmosphere (obviously duh no brainer, right?). Stupid Kitai goes to a volcano--because, yeah, that's smart--to set up the beacon. Stupid Kitai gets spotted by Ursa. Stupid Kitai starts "ghosting," kills the Ursa, launches the beacon and saves the day.

Yay.

So, is this bomb of a movie really that bad? 

Eh...given that it's a sci-fi film, I've seen worst. But...this film is still pretty bad. I'd say that the visual settings weren't all that putrid, but that'd be a lie as well. I mean, how many shades of grey can you show? I get that it's an Earth that's after the alien invasion. But, for Pete's sake, give us something other than grey, blue-grey, and grey-blue for our folks. That's not even considering the visual effects of the Ursa, the condor, and so on. Similarly, everyone talks in that weird-ass accent and it's annoying. I went back into this film forgetting the accents. Hell, I almost forgave it since some sort of African Guy-meets-British Guy accent is used in so many films. However, as I mentioned, the Smiths' accents were forced beyond all belief.

I'm not the person who's gonna say "oh, hey. Jaden and Will shouldn't have been in this movie. It's black nepotism" then go applaud Judd Apatow for including his kids in This is 40. However, at least Apatow's kids had charisma, acting chops, the ability to make you enter their world. Jaden Smith has the charisma of a sponge drenched in dried paint in After Earth. No wonder he started talking like Black Yoda meets Dolemite. This movie probably drove the poor boy insane.


Will, however, was no better in this film. As "Black Gendo" Cypher Raige, the lack of any sort of emotion--even with its "oh, hey emotion gets you killed...even though I spazzed on my kid at the dinner table" explanation--it makes it very hard to root for him. He's a douche to his kid. That's pretty impossible to debate. And even after everything is chilled out and they're back on Nova Prime, it still seems like there's a bit of "you stupid kid. You should've just stayed here" energy I sense. Yeah, they're all "hey, we saved our asses and we're back home and I'm glad you're my son" and whatnot. But, I don't know. Maybe it's Cypher's "lack" of emotion. But, hey. It at least allowed Will to work on his accen...oh. 

Again, it's not the worst movie ever. But, it's still not really good, either. Give me Shinji Ikari blowing up the world because he's mad at his daddy and all that fake psychobabble and whatnot any day over this one.
Viewing all 1751 articles
Browse latest View live